“Friends are the angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly“. Jack Canfield, best-selling author of “Chicken Soup for the Soul”
One of the great blessings of being involved with several faith-based groups are the wonderful people you get to share your life and fellowship with and to realize that we are not alone on our journey. One of our brothers recently shared with us an incredible story of friendship between two young boys in high school and it is one that resonates so powerfully today, given the significant rise in teen suicide rates across the country during the past few years.
This true story of friendship is a timeless reminder to never, ever underestimate the power of our actions. We can, with one small gesture, literally change a person’s life, for better or for worse. And, a friend’s weakest moment might be our best opportunity to show our best self and the underlying depth and strength of that friendship. I truly believe that God puts us in each other’s lives to impact one another in some way. It helps explain why the Jesuits encourage us to look for God in all things and in all people because you just might be pleasantly surprised at what you might find.
Here then, is a profoundly moving story of real friendship (818 words) as shared by our good friend, brother Bernie:
“One day, when I was a freshman in high school, I saw a kid from my class walking home from school. His name was Kyle. It looked like he was carrying all of his books. I thought to myself, ‘Why would anyone bring home all of his books on a Friday? He must really be a nerd.’
I had quite a weekend planned with parties and a football game with my friends so I shrugged my shoulders. As I continued walking, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him. They ran at him, knocking all of his books out of his arms, tripping him so he landed in the dirt. His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet from him. He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes. My heart went out to him, so I jogged over to him as he crawled around looking for his glasses, and I saw a tear in his eye. As I handed him his glasses, I said, ‘Those guys are jerks. They really should get a life.’ He looked at me and said, ‘Hey thanks!’ There was a big smile on his face. It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude.
I helped him pick up his books, and asked him where he lived. As it turned out, he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen him before. He said he had gone to private school before now. I would have never hung out with a private school kid before. We talked all the way home and I carried some of his books. He turned out to be a pretty cool kid. I asked him if he wanted to play a little football with my friends and he said yes. We hung out all weekend and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him, and my friends thought the same of him.
Monday morning came, and there was Kyle with that huge stack of books again. I stopped him and said, ‘Boy, you are gonna really build some serious muscles with that pile of books every day!’ He just laughed and handed me half the books. Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends. When we were seniors we began to think about college. Kyle decided on Georgetown and I was going to Duke. I knew that we would always be friends, no matter how far away we lived from one another. He was going to be a doctor and I was going for a business degree on a football scholarship. Kyle was valedictorian of our high school class. I teased him all the time about being a nerd. He had to prepare a speech for graduation. I was so glad it wasn’t me having to get up there and speak. Well, graduation day came and I saw Kyle — he looked great! He was one of those guys that really found himself during high school. He filled out and looked terrific in his glasses. He had more dates than I had and all the girls loved him. Boy, sometimes I was jealous!
I could see that he was nervous about his speech. So, I smacked him on the back and said, ‘Hey, big guy, you’ll be great!’ He looked at me with one of those looks — the grateful one — and smiled at me, ‘Thanks!’ he said. As he started his speech, he cleared his throat, and began… ‘Graduation is a time to thank those who helped you make it through those tough years. Your parents, your teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach, but mostly your friends. I am here to tell all of you that being a friend to someone is the best gift you can give them. I am going to tell you a story.’ I then just looked at my friend with disbelief as he told everyone about that first day we met. You see Kyle had planned to kill himself that weekend we had first met. He talked of how he had cleaned out his locker so his Mom wouldn’t have to do it later — so, that’s why he was carrying his stuff home that day! He looked hard at me and gave me a little smile. ‘Thankfully’ he said, ‘I was saved. My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable.’
I heard the gasps go through the crowd as this handsome, popular young man told us all about the weakest moment of his life. I saw his Mom and Dad looking at me with that same grateful smile Kyle had shown me on that fateful day. It was not until that very moment on graduation day that I realized the depth of our friendship.’”
Wishing my colleagues, clients, and friends that special gift of friendship, Dr. K
