Gratitude — the quality of being thankful; a readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness.
As the long Thanksgiving weekend comes to a close and our attention turns to the Christmas and Hanukah season, I found myself reflecting on some of the little things to be grateful for and which I know I have taken for granted in the past. Perhaps mother time is finally catching up with me or that I see things now with a slightly different lens than I did in the past. Or, maybe becoming a grandfather earlier this year has had an effect.
Actually, finding more gratitude in my own life has largely come from adopting a useful coaching tool called The Daily Examen, a central feature of Ignatian Spirituality that takes all of 10-15 minutes to complete. The Daily Examen is not just a great tool to deepen one’s spiritual development but is also an incredibly powerful exercise that can enhance one’s personal as well as professional development.
One of the most important of the 5 Steps of the Daily Examen is Step #2 where you are asked to reflect on at least one thing in your day that you can be grateful for no matter how stressful or uneventful the day may have been. Getting started and doing the Examen on a daily basis may take some effort but the return on this coaching tool can be profound because research has consistently shown that when we actually write something down in a journal, it enhances our self-awareness and our learning and personal development. Finding gratitude in any given day through the Examen can cover lots of different topics — e.g., maybe it was a personal or professional interaction you may have had; or an unexpected, but pleasant surprise; maybe it’s even a good deed someone did for you without asking you; Whatever example of gratitude you find in your own day, just write it down in your journal. Then, after you have been completing the Examen over the course of a month or even a year, review your journal and you will be amazed at the many little things in your life that you are consciously becoming more grateful for. Embracing gratitude in your everyday life can also become a significant source of strength that you can rely on in facing the many stressful and most challenging moments in our life and work. Many of my clients at Kirnan Coaching Associates, LLC have found The Daily Examen to be quite effective because I think most of us are so busy in our personal and professional lives, we never consciously take the time to look for gratitude in our daily life. Instead, we manage our To Do Lists, crossing off the tasks that have been completed and then adding new tasks and projects to the list as they present themselves. Sometimes the To do List expands and then shortens but it never ends and nowhere in our To Do List is there a line item that says, “What Am I Grateful for Today”?
So besides being thankful for my family, friends, and faith this Thanksgiving Holiday, I am also grateful for all the little things that make a difference in my daily life which I have easily discerned through my own Daily Examen. Here are just some of the things I am grateful for at the moment:
- I am grateful for the taxes I pay because it means I am employed.
- I am grateful for the clothes that sometimes fit too snugly because it means that I have enough to eat.
- I am grateful for my shadow that follows me because it means I am getting outside and enjoying the sunshine.
- I am grateful for the lawn that must be cut, the windows that must be washed, and all the things that need fixing because it means I can go to sleep at night with a roof over my head.
- I am grateful for the spot I often find at the far end of a parking lot because it means I can still walk.
- I am grateful for people who complain about our government or for something that they want to change because it means we enjoy freedom of speech.
- I am grateful for the guys in my church who like me often sing off key, for the people who honk their horns in the busy NYC traffic, or for the ever-present whistle of the trains departing and arriving at Spring Lake Station because it means that I can still hear.
- I am grateful for the alarm that goes off every morning on my iPad because it means that I am alive for at least one more day.
- I am grateful for the often huge pile of laundry because it means I will get to spend some more precious time with my loved ones.
I hope you give yourself the time and the gift of starting your own Daily Examen and look for those special moments in your day to be grateful for. Have fun with it — you might be pleasantly surprised at what treasure you will find!
Blessings to my friends, clients, colleagues, and fellow coaches,
Dr. K
