“Coming home to a place he’d never been before. He left yesterday behind him, you might say he was born again. You might say he found a key for every door”
John Denver, lyrics from the song Rocky Mountain High
“I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith”
2 Timothy 4:7
Finish the Race or Time to Move in a New Direction?
Quo Vadis is a Latin term that means “Where are you going?” And, it’s a particularly appropriate question to ask ourselves at the dawn of a new year but it’s also a question that we grapple with throughout the journey of life itself. Our answer to the Quo Vadis question often hits home in a particularly profound way when we experience one of life’s major transitions like getting married or having children; going through a painful separation or divorce; losing an important anchor in your life like a spouse, a parent, a child, a sibling, a close relative or friend and yes even a beloved pet; or the loss of a job and the identity we often associate with that job and the difficult transition period that is full of uncertainty. Quo Vadis is an invitation to explore what’s most important to you at this specific moment in your life and to discern in any particular area of your life whether you should stay on your present course and finish the race that you started or to change the present destination and move in a completely new direction, leaving yesterday behind and embracing something different and new. Quo Vadis is at the core of every person’s unique journey and where the lyrics of some great songs can perfectly capture what we are feeling at any given moment, everything from John Denver’s Rocky Mountain High and the joy and excitement of “coming home to a place you’ve never been before” but can’t wait to get there or to The Dave Matthews Band Where Are You Going and the notion that you may not know where you are going but you do know in your heart who you want to be with. Music resonates with us because often the lyrics relate to our own human story and the reality that all of us are on the road to somewhere whether we realize it or not.
Be Open to the Mustard Seeds That Can Foster New Growth
For me, 2019 brings with it a wealth of new possibilities and pathways to explore with the clients that I am so privileged to work with through my association as a Certified Coach for GetFive as well as through my own firm Kirnan Coaching Associates, LLC that just began its 5th year in business. I look back with profound appreciation to a special moment in March 2014 when my dear friend Darren Kimball, President and CEO of GetFive planted a little mustard seed (Matthew 17: 20) in my head over a cup of coffee at the Penn Club in NYC by asking me a simple question “Jack, would you ever think about becoming a professional coach?” As I walked back to Penn Station for the train ride back to the Jersey Shore where I live, I noticed I had a little extra spring in my step for the first time in a few years. The seed that Darren planted that day quickly took root and began to take me into new and exciting directions that I never could have fathomed. You see, before that moment and the best cup of coffee I ever shared with anyone, my career had hit “The Wall”, a feeling akin to what I experienced on 4 different occasions at around the 20-mile mark when I competed in the Boston and NYC Marathons. Marathoners know all too well what it’s like when you hit The Wall! Suddenly, you begin to doubt whether you will have the strength to finish the race as your body begins to break down, your muscles ache, and your mind becomes preoccupied with fears of dehydration. But, then somehow you remember the sage advice given to you by your family and friends not just for the marathon race I was trying to complete, but for any race you find yourself competing in whether it’s your marriage, raising your children, caring for someone you love in your family, building a business, or even your own journey of faith itself. When we hit The Wall, we suddenly remember that starting any race is the easiest part of the race, but finishing the race is hard and requires careful preparation and anticipating the many twists, turns, and disappointments that are part of the race itself. And yes, just like the Boston or NYC Marathons, you will likely hit The Wall in any race you run especially as you move closer to your finish line. And, the realization sets in that you are the only one who can determine whether it’s worth it to finish the race or the time to begin moving in a new direction and begin an entirely different race with aa new finish line.
The KCA Wheel of Life — A Coaching and Assessment Tool to Help You Clarify Your Own Answer to Quo Vadis
While simplistic in nature, the KCA Wheel of Life can often help clients focus on what specific areas of their personal and professional life they may be looking to change. For example, where are you in your career and is your present course aligned with your longer-term vision?
The assessment includes a review of your overall financial situation and specific goals you might have for the future. The exercise asks you to reflect on the current status of any key relationships in your life you’d like to focus on like your spouse/partner, specific family members, or friends. We review the various activities that you engage in for fun and how you view your overall health and well-being. We explore potential strategies that could support specific goals you might have for your personal growth and development. Finally, we look more closely at how you view the physical environment you currently live and work in and the support networks you have access to. This overall assessment and reflective exercise help you clarify whether any goals you may have already set in a particular area of your Wheel may need some fine tuning or perhaps even a wholesale makeover. At its core, the KCA Wheel of Life builds greater awareness of how specific components of your Wheel can either support or be in conflict with one another and how you can prioritize specific actions you would like to take for each component of your Wheel. In sum, the assessment helps you to clarify the question Quo Vadis poses to each of us throughout our journey and whether the goals (the finish line) we have set in a particular area of our Wheel are still worth pursuing until we finish that particular race or whether it’s time to pursue a new goal (new finish line) and course of action in that particular area of your Wheel.
So, How About You?
So how about you? Do you know your answer to Quo Vadis? Do you know where you are going and what your finish line is in each area of your life? Have you taken the time to ask yourself whether you should stay the present course you are on and finish the race or might you need to change direction just like the 3 Wise Men — Gaspar, Balthasar, and Melchior — who after visiting the baby Jesus decided to travel back by a different path? Wherever you are in your journey and the path you may follow in the future, I hope it’s fun and that I can be there with you. And remember that you only need to look back to see how far you’ve come and never, ever doubt a special moment when someone like my friend Darren or a person you may have just met can plant a mustard seed for you that can lead you to something new and exciting😎❤️
Wishing my clients, colleagues, and friends the gift of God’s many blessings,
Dr. K and Cali
