Patient Trust in Grieving a Loss - Kirnan Coaching Associates, LLC

“Above all, trust in the slow work of God” Excerpt from the prayer “Patient Trust” by Pierre Teilhard de Chardin, SJ

Earlier this month we concluded another Daytime and Evening cohort of our Parish Bereavement Program and as always, we closed our final session with a beautiful prayer called “Patient Trust” by Pierre Teilhard de Chardin, S.J. (See below) It is one of the most spiritually healing prayers I know of and it’s not just applicable for the work we do in Bereavement Ministry but especially as each of us works through our own personal challenges in life and the hopes we may have for the future.

This prayer is a reminder to me that in every season of life, God is at constantly at work in each of us. We may not see his loving hand in every moment or have our prayers answered on the timeline we want or in the ways we are hoping for. And the prayer also reminds us that our personal growth in this life has often been gradual and one that requires an investment of self as well as the patience to finish the race.

Grieving the loss of our loved ones is arguably the hardest internal work God will ever ask us to do. And as we pray and grieve for our loved ones during this difficult time of the year, may we also ask God for the:

Patient Trust to ultimately accept the reality of our loss knowing that our life in the future will be different than it was before the loss.
Patient Trust to have our loss and pain witnessed and acknowledged by others.
Patient Trust to be able to express and name our feelings as we move through the pain of our loss without judgement or setting some arbitrary timeline for our grief.
Patient Trust to help us release any burdens of guilt we may be holding onto as we move forward in our lives.
Patient Trust to help us heal from any old wounds or family scripts that may surface in the grief journey.
Patient Trust to help us find ways to integrate our pain with an even greater love for our loved ones who will always be a part of who we are.
Patient Trust to help us explore and potentially find meaning in our loss.

This prayer is also a timely one to reflect on during this Advent season as we prepare for Christmas and the New Year ahead. In reciting the prayer, we can also ask God to help us become the best version of ourselves in the many different roles we play in this life as children, sibling, parent, grandparent, friend, worker, and as a citizen of the broader communities we participate in. Dear Lord, in each of those roles, may I ask for the:

Patient Trust to be more mindful for all the times in the past when God’s grace was there helping me and leading me even when I could not see it or appreciate it.
Patient Trust for all those moments when I am tempted to seek perfection or I tell myself I am not worthy or good enough.
Patient Trust or all of those times of trying to overcome my weaknesses and shortcomings overnight and lose my confidence and willpower.
Patient Trust to plant as many new seeds of love in all of my relationships fully aware that I may not live long enough to witness the fruits of my love.
Patient Trust to more fully discern God’s call in every moment but especially when it’s unclear what His call may be.
Patient Trust to more fully embrace those powerful words from Romans 8: 24-25 that “Hope that is seen is not hope at all. Who hopes for what is seen? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.”