Even now”, declares the Lord “Return to me with all your heart, with fasting and weeping and mourning. Rend your heart and not your garments. Return to the LORD your God, for he is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love.”
Joel 2: 12-13
The Three Pillars of Lent — Prayer, Fasting, and Almsgiving
This past Tuesday morning, I had the opportunity to grab breakfast with a dear friend of mine whom I had not seen since before the pandemic. John and I joked about it being Mardi Gras Day, or French for Fat Tuesday which marks the last day of the Carnival Season and the day that precedes Ash Wednesday that signals the start of Lent. As we caught up with one another, we learned from our hostess that Fat Tuesday is also known as Pancake Tuesday. Sure enough, I just had to order some pancakes knowing full well that beginning on Ash Wednesday I would start a pretty strict diet as part of the 40-day fast of the Lenten season. You see Dr. K needs to lose some weight for my daughter’s wedding in June and look as good as Steve Martin did in that great movie The Father of the Bride.
Catholics learn early on in their faith journey that the Lenten season is a three-pillar process that involves spending more time for prayer, for fasting and self-sacrifice, and for almsgiving culminating in the celebration of Christ’s Resurrection on Easter Sunday. I have found that most of my conversations regarding Lent typically center on the self-denial piece of those three pillars and what, in particular, one plans to give up during this 40-day fasting period. Sometimes that self-sacrifice piece can resemble a sports competition to see who can come up with the most difficult thing to give up whether its those 4-5 daily cups of coffee, that glasses of wine at dinner, or the amount of time we spend each and every day consuming social media. Over the years, chocolate has consistently ranked either at or very near the top of the list of the things people typically give up during Lent. However, in recent years Twitter, Alcohol, and Social Media have moved to the top of that list. Whatever you may decide to give up this Lenten season, it’s important to remember that it’s really not about the chocolate, coffee, alcohol, social media, or whatever specific thing you decide to give up; rather, it’s about the sacrifice the Lord made for all of us for our salvation and for the salvation of those we love and have lost.
Lent is A lot More Than What We Give Up
This Lenten season may seem different because many people believe they have already sacrificed enough during these past 11 months having lived through so many restrictions, lockdowns, and COVID-19 protocols. Spiritually though, the implicit goal of Lent has not changed as those three pillars mentioned above provide a gateway that can deepen our relationship with God, with our neighbor, and within our communities. A fully embraced Lenten experience can lead to a transformation of both our hearts and our minds. At its core, Lent is all about God’s abundant grace and the belief that through more prayer, fasting, and almsgiving we can become more giving and loving people. We learn to trust Him more and become more Christ like; we do our best to break free of those persistent sins we struggle with; and, we can grow in gratitude and develop a deeper understanding that all people are truly children of God.
An Opportunity to Substitute New Habits for the Unexamined Habits
Lent can also be a spiritual reawakening for people of all faiths not just for Catholics and viewed beyond that singular prism of “what should I give up this year” to include a deeper dive into those unexamined habits that may permeate our daily lives and keep us from becoming the best version of ourselves and who God is calling us to be. Once examined, we can carefully consider substituting a new healthier habit in place of that one habit that we may have been thinking of giving up for a very long time. With academic research confirming that it takes about 21 days to form a new sustained habit, what better time to develop that new habit than this 40-day Lenten period now upon us! And, you never know when that one successful new habit we take on could become that Butterfly Effect where changing one thing in your life, can truly change everything for the better.
An Opportunity for Personal Transformation by Adopting Something New
Beyond the considerable spiritual benefits that can come with any Lenten season, there are also abundant possibilities for personal transformation. So instead of considering specific acts of self-sacrifice, might there also be opportunities to take on something new during this Lenten season?
- Could you learn a new foreign language? I am trying to relearn my 4 years of high school Spanish which Mrs. Donahue had taught me so well all those years ago at Paramus Catholic High School because I know that I need it for my Camino walk through Spain later this year.
- Could it be developing a new technical/software or interpersonal skill that can help you in your current or future job? On this score, I am loving my new video editing course on the SkillShare platform which is helping to enhance my capabilities with Final Cut Pro.
- Might this be an opportune time to reassess your Work/Life boundaries to see where you are spending most of your time and how you could potentially create more space for what Steven Covey labels as your Quadrant 2 Activities — i.e., those activities that are Not Urgent, but are Very Important — things like planning, preparation, goal setting, etc.
If there are new things that you can invest in during this Lenten season, consider asking a friend or colleague at work to be part of your support system around that new thing you are trying to accomplish. Schedule a once-a-week Zoom meeting, phone call, or face-to-face meeting with your support team to see how you are progressing and to help keep you on track.
Lenten Questions to Help Promote Your Spiritual and Personal Transformation
As you finalize preparations for this year’s Lenten season, spend some time in deep prayer and reflect on any one or more of the questions below to help you identify not only what you may want to give up or what you could take on as something new, but to also examine those specific areas of your life that God might be inviting you to change:
- Identify one spiritual discipline that you would like to improve upon — e.g., daily prayer, reading more Scripture, attending Mass and/or receiving the sacraments of the Holy Eucharist and Reconciliation on a more frequent basis? Could engaging in more meditation, Yoga, and/or Breathing Exercises improve your spiritual life?
- What gets in the way of being able to develop a closer and deeper relationship with God?
- Might God be calling you to examine some demons in your life that need to be addressed – e.g., anger, jealousy, bitterness, gossiping, being cynical and judgmental of others, obsession with comparing ourselves to others, selfishness, and/or addictive behaviors?
- Is there any one thing in your daily routine that is taking up too much of your precious time? If so, where would you reinvest such precious time? Your job? Your relationships? Your spiritual life?
- Could this be an opportune time to address an unhealthy habit? If so, what habit would you like to break? Is there be some new habit that could replace that bad habit?
- Are there any relationships in my life or at work that need mending? Can I ask for God’s grace and for the strength to change deep seated default behaviors with people I love? Of not listening and perhaps being overly sensitive, critical or defensive in how I respond to others?
- Do you need to finally let go of some old hurts and forgive someone and/or seek forgiveness from others you may have hurt?
Enjoy this 40-day opportunity for self-sacrifice, for more prayerful deep reflection, and almsgiving to others in need and perhaps best summarized by the immortal words of John Wesley, the Founder of the Methodist Church almsgiving “do all the good you can, by all the means you can, in all the ways you can, in all the places you can, to all the people you can, as long as ever you can”. If each of us can do that, our hearts and the hearts of others will be forever transformed.
Wishing all of my clients, fellow coaches, former colleagues, and friends the gift of God’s abundant blessings this Lenten season. And remember that no matter what, you do not walk alone!
Dr. K
