“Lonely days are long. Twilight sings a song. All the happiness that used to be. Soon my eyes will close. Soon I’ll find repose. And in dreams, you’re always near to me. I’ll see you in my dreams. Hold you in my dreams. Someone took you right out of my arms. Still I feel the thrill of your charms”.
Lyrics from the song “I’ll See You in My Dreams”, Joe Brown lyrics
A very Happy Father’s Day to all the Dads who have helped me along the way and who, like my own Dad, I carry in my heart each and every day. I also give thanks today to all of those other men in my life who have “fathered” me in other life giving ways like my father-in-law Bernie Powell, Grandpa Flaherty, Uncle Danny and Uncle Nicky, my brothers-in-law Jack T, Norm, Donald, and Big C; my brother Matt; my son Pat; my son-in-law Logan; BFF’s Tommy K and Frank S; and especially Bob Tanzola, Monsignor Cullen and Fr. Hank. During this past week, I was on my way into NYC for some client meetings when that great Harry Chapin tune “Cats in the Cradle” began playing on the radio. Soon, I found myself thinking it was 1975 all over again and I was a sophomore in college, driving my red VW Beetle up and down the Garden State Parkway on my daily commute to Seton Hall University. Just like back then, I started singing loudly as I pulled my car into the Secaucus Train Station:
“And the cats in the cradle and the silver spoon, little boy blue and the man in the moon. “When you coming home, dad? I don’t know when, but we’ll get together then, Dad. You know we’ll have a good time then”.
Like so many songs of my youth, I never spent much time reflecting on the meaning behind the lyrics of any song. But today, I have a much different feeling when I hear that song, one of profound gratitude and hope for the future. The song is a reminder of how much all of us miss our Dads and what a great time we know we would have with them if only they could be here with us just like in the old days. An opportunity to build on all of those great memories now permanently stored on that internal USB drive that resides inside your brain allowing us to replay each memory, one moment at a time and preferably in slow motion so we can savor the love and the gratitude for what our Dads did for each of us.
For me, Father’s Day 2019 represents more gratitude than ever before for the Dad who fought so bravely in WW II and in the Battle of Iwo Jima, the only one in his platoon to survive and to make it home; the Dad who often toiled the midnight shift in those early days of raising 5 children just so my Mom and my siblings could live in a house and in an environment that would offer each of us far greater opportunities than Dad or Mom ever had; the Dad who taught us the manners that come with being a Marine like “yes sir, yes ma’am, no sir, no ma’am”; the Dad who told us that we should always do the right thing even when no one is watching; the Dad who taught me how to hit a baseball (actually I became known as the great bunter in Little League) and throw a curve ball; a Dad who went to almost every game I ever played in growing up, always the quiet one in the stands but the one who always gave positive feedback and encouragement even when a ground ball went through my legs and we lost a Little League Championship or those times where my jump shot just wasn’t on the mark; the Dad who taught me how to cut the lawn, how to cook, and how to nurture those tomato plants that we always grew in our backyard; the Dad who would drop me off at the HoHokus train station when I commuted into NYC and who would make me the best coffee to get me going for that long day ahead; and most of all, for the Dad who never, ever judged me, but only loved me and always gave me the time and the space to find my own self, my own identity, my own calling in life.
Perspectives change when the son is blessed with the gift of fatherhood himself and has the opportunity to follow his Dad’s example raising his own children. You begin to see things through a different lens than perhaps you saw before. For me, Dad will always be transformational and the one person that I will always look up to just like I did in 1967 when I received the Sacrament of Confirmation. In the words of Matthew Kelly, Dad became “the best version of himself that he could possibly be” at the end of his earthly life. Chapin’s lyrics are bittersweet because I know that my Dad isn’t coming home again. You see, my Dad already made it to the home where many of us would like to ultimately be. An angel called him 8 years ago with a first-class ticket to that eternal place called heaven that he richly deserved. And my faith tells me that I will see him again but just not here in this physical world. Just like Dad, I’ve got to follow his example and earn my own ticket to that big prize called heaven. In the meantime, I’ve got my USB drive full of memories of Dad that I’ll cherish over and over again as I listen to that great Irish tune “I’ll see You in My Dreams” by Joe Brown. So, Dad, Happy Father’s Day and I’ll see you in my dreams tonight like I do every night!
