“๐ฏ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐. ๐ป๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐, ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐โ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ , ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐. ๐ป๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐.” ๐ต๐๐๐๐ ๐ณ๐๐๐๐, ๐ป๐๐ ๐ฎ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ฌ๐๐๐
Job loss can often trigger a range of emotions that in many ways mirror what people feel when we are grieving the loss of a loved one. Like many people who have experienced job loss at some point in their career, I too battled a mix of intense emotions when I lost a job that I loved several years ago as the Head of a Research Department for a major Wall Street firm.
๐ ๐๐๐ฅ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ฌ ๐จ๐ ๐๐ง๐ ๐๐ซ — how could I let this happen?
๐ ๐๐๐ฅ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ฌ ๐จ๐ ๐๐ก๐๐ฆ๐ — how could I embarrass my family?
๐๐๐ข๐ ๐ก๐ญ๐๐ง๐๐ ๐๐ง๐ฑ๐ข๐๐ญ๐ฒ ๐๐ง๐ ๐ ๐ ๐๐๐ซ ๐จ๐ ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐ ๐ฎ๐ญ๐ฎ๐ซ๐ — often punctuated by repeatedly saying to myself “I’ll never find another job.”
๐ ๐๐๐ฅ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ฌ ๐จ๐ ๐๐๐๐ฉ ๐๐๐๐ง๐๐ฌ๐ฌ ๐๐ง๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ซ๐๐ญ — hindering my ability to move forward in the way that I wanted to.
I’ve learned through that painful experience and as a Grief Educator that it’s important in any transition to allow yourself to feel whatever emotions you are experiencing as a first step in the healing process. Denying your feelings only delays your ability to move through the transition from the “๐ง๐จ ๐ฅ๐จ๐ง๐ ๐๐ซ” (๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐จ๐ฅ๐ ๐ฃ๐จ๐) ๐ญ๐จ ๐ญ๐ก๐ “๐ง๐จ๐ญ ๐ฒ๐๐ญ” (๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐ง๐๐ฑ๐ญ ๐ฃ๐จ๐)
Give yourself the permission to release your feelings because there may be some things in your past before you even lost this job that need to be grieved and aired out as was the case in my own experience. As you navigate your emotions, be compassionate and kind to yourself because those feelings any of us experience in job transition are quite normal and part of the human experience in grieving any loss.
Two coaching exercises can be of enormous help in releasing the feelings associated with a job that has been lost:
๐ ๐๐ผ๐๐ฟ๐ป๐ฎ๐น๐ถ๐ป๐ด ๐๐ ๐ฒ๐ฟ๐ฐ๐ถ๐๐ฒ where the client responds to several prompts like โ๐ฐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐โฆโ; โ๐ฐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐โฆโ; ๐ฐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐โฆโ; โ๐ฐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐… โ; โ๐ฐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐โฆโ; โ๐ฐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐โฆโ; The exercise helps the client to be heard where their feelings are validated, putting them in a stronger mindset for the job search campaign that lies ahead.
๐ ๐๐๐๐ซ ๐๐จ๐ ๐๐๐ญ๐ญ๐๐ซ where they write down their feelings about not having that job anymore. It can be a healthy way to say goodbye to a job, to acknowledge the role it played in their life to date, and a helpful step on the road to searching for new opportunities.
So how about for you? Have you experienced feelings of anger, shame, fear, anxiety, or any other emotions when you lost your job? How did you work through those feelings in pursuing a new position?
