“Sir, do you see that big building through your car window?” The man answered, “Sure I do!” “Well”, the young man continued, “that’s the Empire State Building. Just keep your eyes on that building as you drive your car and you’ll be there in no time.”
Did You Ever Get Lost on Your Way to the Empire State Building?
A couple of months ago at a meeting of the Men’s Cornerstone Group of St. Rose in Belmar NJ, our brother Bill shared a parable about a man who gets lost on his way to visit the Empire State Building. We were at a point in our monthly meeting where each of us is given an opportunity to share something personal with the rest of the group in our own faith journey. Many of us were still feeling the raw emotion of just having paid our final respects to a person in our group who had just passed away and who had been a pillar in our local community.
In the story, the man begins his journey in New Jersey, with a planned route that would take him to the NJ Turnpike, Rt. 3 East, the Lincoln Tunnel and his ultimate destination, the world-famous Empire State Building located at 350 5th Avenue in New York City. As the man turned off the Turnpike for the Rt. 3 exit, he soon became frustrated with a myriad of signs that confused him and soon he felt lost, pulling his car off to the side of the local road. He rolled down his car window and asked a lady who happened to be passing by if she knew how to get to the Empire State Building from where he was. “Well”, she said, “you want to go straight ahead for a about a mile and then you’ll make a left-hand turn at the traffic light and two blocks later, you’ll make a right-hand turn. Just keep driving on that road and it will take you directly to the Empire State Building,” The man thanked the nice lady for her help and he drove off but soon after making the first left-hand turn, he couldn’t remember what the rest of the directions were (Boy, can I can relate to that). So the man, once again, pulled over to the side of the road, rolled down his window and asked a nice young man who was talking on his phone how to get to the Empire State Building. The young man paused for a second and said, “Sir, do you see that big building through your car window?” The man answered, “Sure I do!” “Well”, the young man continued, “that’s the Empire State Building. Just keep your eyes on that building as you drive your car and you’ll be there in no time.”
As brother Bill was telling us this beautiful parable, I found myself flooded with memories of all sorts of trips that I had taken as an automotive analyst during my 15-year career working on Wall Street. Frequent travel is a core requirement for any financial analyst and it can really be a grind. I would frequently visit many of the major auto and auto parts companies throughout a given year, with many of these visits taking place in the great state of Michigan. As part of the drill, I would always reserve a rental car at whatever airport I would be flying into (especially Detroit Metropolitan) and then drive to the company’s headquarters or one of their manufacturing plants. I can vividly recall driving with one hand on the steering wheel and the other hand embracing one of those old-style maps that you’d be given at the car rental counter. Sometimes, I would even save the maps for each city I would visit and over the years the maps became filled with many pencil and yellow highlight marks and lots of coffee stains to boot. Truth be told, I would often get lost along the way to my desired destination, making either a wrong turn, missing an exit, or simply getting on the wrong highway because I was too busy rehearsing those questions I had prepared the night before for the CEO, CFO, and other C-suite executives I would be interviewing. I can’t tell you the number of times I would have to pull my rental car off to the side of the road and ask a stranger how to get to my desired destination, just like the man in Bill’s parable.
As Bill continued with the story, I also thought of the many vacation trips my wife and I made with our children and then in later years all those college road trips. Like my work forays, each of these journeys started out with the old-style printed maps before they gave way to those printouts from MapQuest. Now, of course, everything is so much easier using the Google Maps app on our mobile phones. But, just like my work adventures, we would frequently find ourselves getting lost along the way whether our destination was Lake Winnipesaukee or one of those college campuses we visited.
The KCA Wheel of Life – A Tool to Help You Clarify Your Destinations in Each Area of Your Life
Hearing Bill’s story is a timely reminder that all of us get lost at different points in our earthly journey, reflecting the nature of life itself and the roadblocks that often get in the way of what we want to do, can do, should do, but fail to do (See St. Paul’s Letter to the Romans 7: 15-20). In many such instances, we lose sight of the very destination we had been seeking. Some people in life, like our dear friend and brother Dan, never lose sight of what their ultimate destination is no matter what challenge might lie in front of them because of the strength of their faith. Whatever your own faith or spirituality may lead you to aspire to, there’s inherent power in asking ourselves what we want our destination(s) to be in the other important areas of our earthly life. Destinations defined in this context can be viewed as the specific goals we may set for our career; our finances; perhaps, a desired work/life balance that we may be seeking; the relationships we’d like to have with our family, friends or colleagues at work; or specific goals we might set regarding our personal health and overall wellness; and, even goals that focus on our physical living and/or work environment. Just as the Empire State Building was the destination the man in our story above was seeking, there can be a specific destination that we are trying to reach in each area of our life.
At Kirnan Coaching Associates, LLC, we will often use an assessment called the KCA Wheel of Life that essentially asks our clients to clarify specific destinations or goals in each of the major areas of their life. Clients have found that simply by asking that question of “Where am I in this particular part of my life and where would I like to be” can enhance their self-awareness of what is truly important in their lives. The exercise helps them set specific destinations or goals in each area of their life, helps them prioritize those goals, and empowers them to develop an action plan aligned with those desired destinations and goals. I am always amazed at how effective this simple, highly visual exercise can be in helping clients clarify what it is they are truly aiming for in each of those major areas of their lives and bring a greater sense of purpose and fulfillment. Having that unique self-awareness can also provide a client with greater confidence and resiliency in adapting to any roadblocks or obstacles that often accompany the journey or in leveraging potential new opportunities.
So, have some fun with this little parable about the man getting lost on his way to the Empire State Building. Try and imagine that you are the man in the story and where you define for yourself what your image of that Empire State Building (i.e., your desired destination) would be in each of the keys areas in your life. Clarify as best you can what you want that final destination to be in each area of your life. Review your destinations frequently, marinate on each of them and adjust them as appropriate. Pay attention to all your destinations you seek, as they will help keep you on the right track, just like our great friend and Cornerstone brother Dan.
Warm regards, Dr. K
