“𝑪𝒐𝒎𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒇𝒆𝒂𝒔𝒕 𝒐𝒇 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒗𝒆𝒏 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒕𝒉, 𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒕𝒂𝒃𝒍𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝒑𝒍𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒚. 𝑮𝒐𝒅 𝒘𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒗𝒊𝒅𝒆 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒘𝒆 𝒏𝒆𝒆𝒅 𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒂𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒕𝒂𝒃𝒍𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝒑𝒍𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒚” 𝑳𝒚𝒓𝒊𝒄𝒔 𝒃𝒚 𝑫𝒂𝒏𝒊𝒆𝒍 𝑺𝒄𝒉𝒖𝒕𝒕𝒆
This photo of my family was taken on Thanksgiving Day in 1971 when I was 16 years old and a junior at Paramus Catholic High School. We didn’t take a lot of photos back then but on this day we were fortunate to have Grandpa Flaherty take it.
Circling from the left to the right at the bottom of the photo are my sweet Aunt Sue; my brother-in-law Jack and sister Cathy who were married just two months earlier; my brother Matt, my Dad who still reigns as the greatest cook ever; my sister Mary Claire, my brother Dennis, myself, my Mom, and Grammy Alice.
Sometimes I wonder what each of us was really thinking that day not knowing that five short months later Dennis would die unexpectedly while away at college changing life’s trajectory for each of us with a painful introduction to the world of grief and all the challenges that come in grieving a loss.
So much of what we learn in life takes place around our own table in the conversations, the stories, and the experiences we share with one another. Tables also help us heal and now 53 years later, I feel an even deeper love for the people in that photo now in God’s loving embrace –- Dennis, Grandma and Grandpa Flaherty, Aunt Sue, Dad, and my Mom.
Their chairs and so many others like them who sat at that table over the years are now empty chairs at our Thanksgiving table but with each of those chairs is a timeless reminder of the precious memories that can be shared and treasured forever.
Sitting in each empty chair is a beautiful face that I will never forget; a hand that I wish I could hold; and a voice that I long to hear again.
Each empty chair represents a life that was something very special; a life well worth grieving over; and a loved one who will always remain a part of who we are until we too will pass from this life.
A big part of the way moving forward in this life is to allow the space to build a longer table that can accommodate all the new chairs in our lives that can make our families stronger, more loving, more compassionate, and chairs that can fill our hearts with even more hope for a better world.
So, today when our family gathers around our Table of Plenty to celebrate Thanksgiving 2024, I know I’ll be happily making room for all the new chairs that have blessed my life but I’ll also stare at the empty chairs that my loved ones once sat in and I’ll proudly say out loud, “Hey Dad, could you please pass me the mashed potatoes?” ❤️😇
Wishing my fellow coaches, colleagues, clients, and friends the gift of God’s abundant love and a very Happy Thanksgiving, Dr. K
#griefcoaching #spiritualcoaching #executivecoaching #lifecoaching
