“We may have all come on different ships, but we’re in the same boat now”
Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
Anxiety and fatigue are two emotions that often come up of late in many of the conversations I have with clients and as a professional coach I always try to use a visualization exercise that can help them work through those feelings and hopefully guide them back to what their specific goals are in a particular coaching engagement. There’s a powerful concept that was coined a few years ago by PJ Fleck, the current head Football Coach at the University of Minnesota. It’s called “Row the Boat” which is a never give up mantra that he adopted following the death of his newborn son in 2011 and later became the slogan for Minnesota’s great football teams of recent years.
The Oars, the Boat, and Your Compass
In the exercise I do with my clients, I have them visualize their own row boat which involves three parts. First, are the oars which represents how they show up every day and the energy they bring to their life, to their relationships, and to their work. The oars are the only force that can move their boat forward in the way they would like. For the boat to move, the oars must stay in the water, otherwise the boat cannot move forward. Secondly, there is the boat itself which represents the sacrifices they are willing to make to get what they want out of their life, in improving those relationships that are most important to them, and in the work they perform currently and would like to do in the future. The third part of the exercise is the compass or the direction they want to set in their life, relationships, and career where they are asked to write down and verbalize those people they surround themselves with and the ones who mentor them and who have a seat on the their personal Board of Directors. The compass includes the people who they know deep down can tell them things that they need to hear even if it’s painful. It may also include the people who can motivate and inspire them to keep their oars in the water even when it’s hard, when they get tired, when frustrations set in, and when they lose their way. In all of those iterations, the inclination and temptation is to quit and take their oars out of the water. Knowing who those people are makes it easier for us to call on them because they know that each person is a member of their special Board that can help them keep their oars in the water and move their boat along.
When you row any boat, your back is always to the future path that lies before you which you cannot see nor control. As you row your boat, you don’t know what’s coming up ahead, whether you’ll be wading through stormy waters, waterfalls, or calm waters. The only thing that we know we can control is finding the courage to place our oars in the water and keep on rowing. The oars in the water help us stay in the present moment and allows us to learn from whatever mistakes, challenges, or new discoveries we may find along the way.
Keep Your Oars in the Water
Covid-19 is clearly the stormiest waters any of us have likely faced in our lifetime and it will take us longer than we would like to get our boats to where we would like them to be. During these coming months, all of us will need to find that inner strength and faith to keep our oars in the water as well as encourage our own family members and friends to keep their oars in the water too. So, keep rowing your boats and heed the immortal words of Dr. Martin Luther King who said “we may have all come on different ships, but we’re in the same boat now”. Together we can and we will get our boats to where we want them to be.
Stay safe and Blessings to all of my clients, fellow coaches, family, and friends,
Dr. K
