“Looking out at the road rushing under my wheels. Looking back at the years gone by like so many summer fields. ’65, I was 17 and running up 101. I don’t know where I’m running now, I’m just running on.
Running on, running on empty.
Running on, running blind.
Running on, running into the sun but I’m running behind”.
Lyrics from the song Running on Empty, Jackson Browne (1978)
The Why Behind Feelings of Running on Empty
That great Jackson Browne classic “Running on Empty” has been playing in my head nonstop since I finished up a 10 mile walk this past weekend. I have always loved this song but this time the lyrics spoke to me in a way I hadn’t experienced before. Memories quickly surfaced of the many times in my own life when I too felt as if I was “Running on Empty”. All of those late nights studying Economics in graduate school and writing my Ph.D. dissertation at Fordham University; those early days of fatherhood and the balancing act that came with raising our three children with my wife Jean, a college Professor; the intense travel demands of working on Wall Street as a sell side automotive analyst and the incessant pressure to perform and help our institutional clients make money on my stock picks; that two hour commute home on those days when I wasn’t traveling so I could attend one of my children’s activities at school or for that rare weeknight family dinner. Even now at this latter stage of my professional career, I can sometimes feel overwhelmed, exhausted, and anxious knowing that my tank is “Running on Empty” as I try to accomplish too many things on my To Do List without the necessary bandwidth, degrees of freedom, or the energy those activities require.
As an Executive and Career Coach and Bereavement Counselor who helps people navigate the loss of a loved one, clients will often share with me their personal challenges and roadblocks that keep getting in the way of their goals and where they want to go. We reflect on their anxieties about the future, the fear of making a wrong decision that can permanently alter the trajectory they aspire to, and the pervasive influence of social media and the harm it can inflict on their mental, physical, and emotional wellness. Distractions that can also inhibit their self-confidence, self-identity, and the energy needed to move through these challenges. So even though its been 46 years since Jackson Browne released this all-time classic, it is my strong sense that more people than ever are experiencing that feeling of “Running on Empty”.
Time Management Exercises Can Provide Some Help
Coaches can help their clients who are experiencing that feeling of running on an empty tank with specific Time Management exercises that are designed to enhance their self-awareness of how they are spending their time and where the opportunities might lie to become more efficient and effective in setting key goals and priorities. But even in those instances when such exercises yield a fruitful outcome and clients feel that their daily routine is better organized and more manageable, the gas tank can very quickly become empty again because of a basic yearning for something more, something deeper and it usually centers on the concept of a client searching for purpose and meaning in their life and those unanswered “Why” questions that we often ask ourselves throughout life.
Am I Leaving Space for God in My Life?
So, whether you currently feel or have ever felt in your past that you were “Running on Empty”, one question to ask yourself is whether you are leaving enough space for your spiritual life and overall wellness? In my Catholic faith, I begin every day with a basic prayer “Lord, help me to know what you want, to want what you want, so that I can do what you want.” And, I believe that this prayer is not just allowing more space into my life to discern God’s will but I also believe God wants to spend more time with me as well as with anyone who is willing to open that door for Him. But so often we are so preoccupied with trying to do as many things as we can fit into our daily routine that we forget that God needs space in each of our lives to do the things He wants to do so I need to do my part and make sure that my door is always open to hear His call.
A dear friend of mine posed that basic question to me about 10 years ago and with the benefit of hindsight, his question of “Am I leaving enough space or room for God in my life” is by far and away the most impactful question anyone had ever asked me before. Reflecting on that question has helped me recenter my life and reconnect with my Catholic faith in a way I never could have imagined. And that first step in discerning that question was a decision I made to attend my first Silent Weekend Retreat at Loyola Jesuit Center in Morristown, NJ where I currently serve as Treasurer and Chair of Strategic Planning. I know I speak for the many thousands of men and women who have attended Loyola retreats over these past 97 years when I say that something truly magical, deeply spiritual, and transformative happens when you experience one of our spiritual program offerings. It might be attending one of our Weekend Retreats, Directed Retreats, or one of our Days or Evenings of Prayer; it might be enrolling in one of our modules on the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius of Loyola; or it could be a desire to access ongoing support in your Spiritual Direction. “Finding God in All Things” is a core tenet underlying each of our spiritual programs, with prayerful meditations and selected scripture readings that are deeply rooted in Ignatian Spirituality.
So how about you, are you leaving enough space for God and your spiritual life? I invite you to consider making a visit to our majestic grounds in Morristown, NJ with over twenty acres of beautiful lawns, gardens, and woodlands and see what the Loyola Jesuit Center retreat experience can do for you as you contemplate devoting more space for God’s presence in your spiritual life. It just may be the best investment you ever made in yourself, your family, your friends, and your colleagues. Please feel free to contact me if you have any questions as I would be delighted to arrange a visit. Here’s a link to our Program offerings:
Wishing my clients, fellow coaches, colleagues, and friends the gift of God’s abundant blessings, Dr. K
