First, do what is necessary, then do what is possible, and before long you will find yourself doing the impossible” St. Francis of Assisi “Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me” Matthew 25: 40
One of the most repeated verses in the Bible is from the prophet Isaiah 41: 40 “Do not be afraid, for I am with you always.” It’s a phrase that resonates for many of us when loss, a tragedy, and the unexpected hits home. During my lifetime, major world events like the assassinations of JFK in November 1963 and then Martin Luther King in April 1968, the Challenger explosion in January 1986, the 9/11 terror attacks, and last April’s catastrophic fire at Notre Dame Cathedral all come to mind where the common question we grapple with is where was God in the midst of these tragic events? And so too today, that biblical phrase of “Do not be afraid” is particularly relevant as the world deals with the significant and far-reaching implications of the COVID-19 pandemic and the fear that engulfs all of us.
In the beginning, the coronavirus seemed so far away from our everyday life, affecting only people in China, then spreading to South Korea, Japan, and Singapore before making its way to Italy and the rest of Europe. And within the last week, the coronavirus has now fully gripped the United States leading to major changes in our daily lives that we couldn’t possibly have imagined even just a few weeks ago. It’s as if we are playing the fictional characters that were brought to the big screen in the 2011 hit movie Contagion except that this is real life, not some Hollywood fiction. Never before have we seen in real time just how interconnected the global economy really has become with activity levels quickly plunging and global markets redefining the very concept of market volatility. The workplace has been completely transformed in just a few short weeks as companies have moved quickly to have their employees work virtually; schools are being shut down across the nation for at least the next several weeks and converting their curriculums and programs to an online format; major activities like organized sports, Broadway shows, concerts, and other popular events have been canceled or rescheduled for a later date and with it, have remove a major component of everyday life and culture; curfews are in place and stores, local establishments, and restaurants have closed affecting millions of people whose livelihood depends on continuing to be able to work; and many churches and places of worship have cancelled Sunday services and are moving quickly to livestream services so their congregations can stay connected with their faith.
Some “External Heart-Work” We Can Do to Help Others
In prior crises, our innate instinct was to gather together but paradoxically with this crisis, we know we have to self-isolate and practice “social distancing”, a phrase most of us had never heard of before. And, so life during this crisis has become very different and even awkward for many of us. I, for one, am having real difficulty changing 65 years of behavior of wanting to shake anyone’s hands I meet for the first time and hugging those members of my family, my friends, and colleagues whom I love and have known for many years. But by now, we all know by heart the COVID-19 drill and the 5 Steps each of us must take to combat its spread: 1) wash your hands often; 2) greet someone with either an elbow bump or the foot shake; 3) don’t touch your face; 4) embrace social distancing through self-isolation, avoiding large crowds, and keeping more than 6 feet away from people when we are out and about; and, 5) staying home if we are feeling sick. These guidelines also serve as the ultimate reminder of how inextricably linked and connected we are to each other and that the choices we make during this crisis will ultimately determine the pathway to our own safety, for the people we love, and for our fellow brethren at large.
As difficult as this period of isolation and social distancing will be, there are many ways that we can help others as well as ourselves. One of my dearest Jesuit friends Fr. Tom calls it the “Heart-Work” we need to do in getting through any challenge we face in our daily lives. “Heart-Work” can be external or internal and at its core reflects the many blessings, talents, and gifts each one of us has been endowed with by our creator and that reside deep within our hearts. Each of us has the capacity to use these gifts to help others in need like our families, our friends and neighbors, our co-workers and colleagues in the local business community, and perhaps most important, our seniors who are homebound or living in nursing homes or assisted living communities. St. Francis of Assisi reminds us that in times like these, we need “to do what is necessary, then do what is possible, and before long you will find yourself doing the impossible”. So, what then are some of the “Heart-Work” things we can all do that are necessary and possible in the weeks ahead to confront the spread of COVID-19?
- Write Letters to Your Loved Ones – Letter writing is a lost art but it’s a great way to tell someone that you care about them and that you love them. There’s a great series of letters developed by Lea Redmond that you can purchase online at https://www.leafcutterdesigns.com/gifts-set/letters-to-my/ for whoever you may want to write to. Maybe it’s your Mom or Dad, a sister or brother, a son or a daughter, or a grandchild. This past Christmas, my daughter Katie shared her Letters to My Dad with me and it was one of the most gratifying gifts I have ever received from anyone. Letters like A Special Memory…, One Thing I’m Glad We Share…, I Love that Our Family is…, I Always Think of You When…, The Best Adventure We Had Together Was…, etc. Writing a special letter to someone you love is as good as any present you’ll ever give or receive!
- Share Photos with Family Members and Friends – Send a photo to your family members and friends who may be homebound or living in a nursing home or an assisted living facility as visitation protocols have become very strict. If you cannot share a photo through one of your mobile devices, take a trip down memory lane by using an app like Postagram. Can you remember how great you felt when someone sent you a postcard? Senior citizens love getting a photo postcard in the mail from a loved one, but you can send as many postcards to anyone you love.
- Make a List of Who You Can Call and Call Them Today – During the 1980s, ATT unveiled a famous commercial called “Reach Out and Touch Someone” which was quite effective and truly connected with its target audience. Think of the joy you will bring to that special person that you call who hasn’t heard from you in a long time but who will be thrilled just to hear your friendly and comforting voice. Call your neighbors and anyone else who you can think of that may need some assistance whether its groceries, taking out the trash, or some other task. You will not only brighten their day, but yours as well.
- Help Someone Use FaceTime, Skype, Google Chat, or some Other Video Apps. So many seniors experience loneliness even before the onset of COVID-19. Seniors have been the most visibly affected group during this coronavirus and so if you have a loved one in a nursing home or senior community, see if you can set up a way for them to experience a FaceTime or some other video chat call. Sometimes you’ll need to work with the nursing staff to make that happen, but it is well worth the effort. Seeing your faces and hearing your voices will be a great blessing for them and for you!
- Give Generously to Your Local Food Banks – More than half of our fellow citizens today do not have the financial resources to work through an emergency like this. Indeed, one recent study concluded that more than 50% of the US households do not have the funds on hand to meet an unexpected emergency expense of $400. Many of our brothers and sisters were not able to stock up on food like others did this past week by racing out to the grocery stores. We’ve all seen the long lines and the empty shelves and there is no greater gift we can give to someone in need than to donate and donate often to our local food banks. Their shelves empty even faster than the shelves in the grocery store.
- Random Acts of Kindness – Get your creative juices flowing and think of different ways to express your gratitude and care for those in need by making a list of different things you could do during this crisis. For example, what chores could you do around the house or your apartment like taking out the garbage, making someone’s bed, emptying the dishwasher, making a meal for someone, cleaning out your closet and donating the items to a charity? What items can you donate to a local rescue mission? Could you write an online review for a local business that may be struggling or purchase a gift card to help them with their cash flow? Maybe you could buy some pizza or bake some cookies or cupcakes for your local Police and Fire departments as well as for those who volunteer for your local First Aid Squad? Most of all, be creative and as generous as you can in the random acts of kindness you come up with and know that you’ll make someone’s day so much better as well as your own!
Say Your Prayers Today and Every Day and Be Kind and Grateful for the Blessings We Have – Pray every day for all of the people and their families around the world who are impacted by this pandemic and for all of the caregivers and our professionals in the medical and scientific community who are doing God’s work in helping us meet this huge challenge.
Is There Some “Internal Heart Work” We Could Do to Be Kinder to Ourselves in Body, Mind, and Spirit?
Besides the call for all of us to do the “External Heart-Work” that can help our fellow sisters and brothers in need, there’s also that call to be kinder and gentler to ourselves in body, mind, and spirit. Maybe the coronavirus represents an opportunity to hit the pause button and do some “Internal Heart Work” by asking ourselves some questions that perhaps we’ve neglected to answer?
- Are there some unhealthy habits that we can let go of and use this time to begin to build some new healthier habits?
- Are some of our habits of thinking and doing getting stale?
- Are some of these habits’ troublemakers for us and bogging us down with useless baggage?
- Do we know what needs to change and what needs to go, kind of like cleaning out my kitchen cabinets, the pantry, my closets, or the garage?
- What tools do we already possess that would help us do our Internal Heart-Work during this time?
Are there things we are carrying in our Heart Backpack that continue to weigh us down and that we could unpack during this time? For example:
- Grief over our losses?
- Guilt over some incident or transgression that we need to ask forgiveness for?
- Regrets, Past Failures, and Unfulfilled Dreams in our personal and professional life that we need to let go of?
- Fears and Self-Limiting Beliefs that keep us paralyzed and unwilling to imagine what’s possible?
Engaging and taking action on our Internal Heart Work is the hardest work of all because those things that we are carrying in our Heart Backpack weigh a ton and spoil the journey we are on but in the end if we can unpack our own Heart Backpack, the reward can be life changing and lead one to inner peace.
Living our own version of how we define our own External and Internal Heart Work” during these next few weeks could be a real game changer for each of us and for our brothers and sisters. And, it brings us closer to realizing the great quote from Matthew 25: 40 “Whoever did this for the least of my brothers, you did for me”. We must do this “External Heart Work” for those in need and, by doing so, we can also turn St. Francis’s “necessary and possible” into the “impossible” which is what all of us need to do to bend this exponential curve so we can get ahead of this pandemic. Each of us has the power to offer emotional first aid and spiritual rescue to others and doing so will get us back to where we need to be. Amen.
A Closing Prayer for All
“Lord, we call to mind the faces of our families, our friends, our coworkers, and all those people who are suffering and sick. We also pray for all those instruments of mercy – those who volunteer, our caregivers, our scientists, our health care professionals, and everyone involved in public health who are working around the clock to produce a vaccine for the coronavirus. Give us the grace Lord of prudence, charity, compassion, and the strength to be generous, kind, and merciful. Fill our hearts with hope Lord, and when we walk with You, all things are possible.” Amen
Wishing my fellow coaches, clients, friends, colleagues, and your families the gift of God’s many blessings during this challenging period! Stay safe and know that none of us walks alone, Dr. K
