โ๐ฟ๐๐๐ฉ๐ ๐๐ฃ๐๐จ ๐ ๐ก๐๐๐, ๐๐ช๐ฉ ๐๐ฉ ๐๐ค๐๐จ ๐ฃ๐ค๐ฉ ๐๐ฃ๐ ๐ ๐ง๐๐ก๐๐ฉ๐๐ค๐ฃ๐จ๐๐๐ฅ ๐ฌ๐๐๐๐ ๐จ๐ฉ๐ง๐ช๐๐๐ก๐๐จ ๐ค๐ฃ ๐๐ฃ ๐ฉ๐๐ ๐จ๐ช๐ง๐ซ๐๐ซ๐ค๐ง๐จ ๐ข๐๐ฃ๐ ๐ฉ๐ค๐ฌ๐๐ง๐๐จ ๐จ๐ค๐ข๐ ๐ง๐๐จ๐ค๐ก๐ช๐ฉ๐๐ค๐ฃ ๐ฌ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ฉ ๐ข๐๐ฎ ๐ฃ๐๐ซ๐๐ง ๐๐๐ฃ๐.โ ๐๐ง๐ค๐ข ๐ฉ๐๐ ๐ข๐ค๐ซ๐๐ โ๐ ๐๐๐ซ๐๐ง ๐๐๐ฃ๐ ๐๐ค๐ง ๐๐ฎ ๐๐๐ฉ๐๐๐งโ(๐ญ๐ต๐ณ๐ฌ)
As a Bereavement Counselor and Grief Coach, I often witness how quotations from Scripture, selected prayers, beautiful music, clips from movies about grief, and poetry resonate with those I work with. These tools help validate oneโs grief, a crucial first step in the grief journey. In my work with clients, we explore each phase of their grief, including:
ยท Acceptance of our loss, arguably the biggest challenge of all.
ยท Tapping our emotions regarding the loss so we can begin the healing process.
ยท Navigating the many adjustments and decisions we will have to make as we move forward in our grief.
ยท Being honest with ourselves regarding the challenges that our grief may impose on our faith and spirituality.
ยท Staying connected to our loved ones as we move forward into what we know will be a new and different life than before our loss.
That latter phase in the grief journey is often called Integration or how we can bring the loss of our loved ones forward with us into our future. It involves bringing the memory of our loved ones into our future, not denying the pain of loss or segmenting our life into the periods before and after the loss. Instead, it considers the entirety of our lifeโs journey, bringing moments of joy and love along with the sorrowful and difficult moments. Itโs about keeping our loved ones with us as we move forward into a new life, acknowledging that they will always be part of who we are.
One of my favorite poems is by E.E. Cummings called โI Carry Your Heartโ and I always share it with my fellow parishioners and the clients I am privileged to work with because the poem captures in a beautiful way the true spirit embodied in the concept of Integration and the eternal love we will always have for our loved ones. The poem is an acknowledgement that our loved oneโs earthly life has ended but that we will always carry the joy and love we have for them forward in the life that still lies ahead of us.
So how about for you in working through the grief of losing your loved ones? Have you been able to integrate more love, joy and meaning for those you have lost? How do the good and bad moments sit with one another as you grieve the loss of your loved one? Have you noticed or found any positive meaning from your loss that has helped ease the burden and pain of grief for your loved one?
Wishing my clients, fellow coaches, colleagues, and friends the gift of God’s abundant blessings, Dr. K 
