“She’s somebody’s mother, boys, you know. For all she’s aged and poor and slow. And I hope some fellow will lend a hand to help my mother, you understand. If ever she’s poor and old and gray, when her own dear boy is far away.” From the poem “Somebody’s Mother” by Mary Brine
When I was a senior in high school, I can still remember the first time I heard the song “I’ll Always Love My Mama” by the Intruders and I have loved it ever since. But the lyrics of that song and the emotions it conjures up in me today run much deeper than it did back in 1973 as an 18-year-old young man getting ready for college. Moms teach us about so many things when you’re a youngster like how to get dressed and ready for school; how to make your bed in the morning and clean the laundry; and in the Kirnan household, how to wash and dry those dirty dishes. Moms teach us the important virtues of honesty, trust, hard work, and discipline; of finishing what you start and to always do your homework because failure to prepare is preparing for failure.
But as the young boy grows up to become a man, the moms in our lives keep on showering us with their abundant graces of love and support even when we don’t ask for it or see it in plain sight. As we journey through our 20s and those early years of starting a career, Moms encourage us to imagine what it is we want to achieve in life and to dream big things; to take chances and jump in the big pond even when you don’t know how deep the water is or how far from shore you might go. When you get married to the love of your life and begin raising a family, who is there to help you anytime and anywhere but your mom. You’ve got a question, and you need a quick answer? Better Call Mom! Struggling with a relationship question at home or at the office, who do you call? Better Call Mom! Hanging wallpaper in the kitchen on a Saturday afternoon and you are not sure how you should cut around the doorway or the window, who do you call? Better Call Mom! Thinking about moving to a new locale or to take on a new job even a new career, who do you call? Better Call Mom! When your kids are all grown up and you transition to that empty nest and you begin to struggle with what to finally do with all your free time, who do you call? Better Call Mom!
Like many of you, I can no longer call my mom as God called her home to heaven on November 17, 2019 after a final chapter in her life of having lost much of her independence and faculties due to the march of mother time (Mom was 91) and dementia. Somehow in that last race of her life, Mom still showed all of us the way forward of both how to be and how to love. How to walk each day even when you can’t physically walk anymore, how to face adversity and the anxiety that comes with the challenge of the unknown. As my wife would often say to me in those final years, your Mom keeps showing all of us how to make lemonade from lemons.
As I get ready to celebrate Mother’s Day this year with my wife and family, one of the things I miss the most about my Mom are the eight years I had the opportunity to help care for her after my dad passed in 2011. I find myself still grieving the loss of my role as Mom’s caregiver wondering did I do enough for her as she surely did for me and my siblings. I also think of the generous and unconditional love she gave to everyone throughout her life and how all the nurses and staff at the Allendale Nursing Home who showered her with an equal amount of love and kindness as Mom’s health began to deteriorate. That love — what CS Lewis called Agape Love — reminds me of a a great poem I came across in my earlier Bereavement work and its one that captures the spirit of caretakers and how unconditional and generous their love can be. The poem is called Somebody’s Mother by Mary Dow Brine and it’s a timely reminder that no matter what may be currently happening in our lives, each of us is called to love generously, an image captured so poignantly by the young boy in the poem who helps an older lady cross the street in the snow. That younger boy could be you or me and that older lady in the poem could also be you or me or our mother. You might say that the poem personifies the circle of life and how our roles change as we move through the different stages of our life.
On this Mother’s Day 2024, I am so thankful for the care and love my Mom gave to me and my siblings throughout her life; thankful that she was the Mom God blessed me with in this life and that I had the chance to really get to know her in an even deeper and better way in those final years of her life. So, on this Mother’s Day 2024, enjoy my reading of this beautiful poem below and I extend my heartfelt best wishes to all those special Mom’s — those in the past and present– and those Moms yet to be — a very Happy Mother’s Day!
