Jesus then said to the Twelve, “Do you also want to leave?” Simon Peter answered him, “Master, to whom shall we go?”John 6: 67-68
The Pennsylvania Attorney General’s Report released last August depicted shocking revelations of clerical sexual abuse as well as the massive cover-up of the abuse by bishops over a 70-year period. That report had followed similarly disturbing claims of abuse by former Cardinal Theodore McCarrick of Washington, DC whom many of us and our families had known during his earlier days first as the Bishop of Metuchen and then later as the Archbishop of Newark. As summer came to an end, new concerns surfaced over what Rome’s role was in the crisis with the release of an 11-page letter by Archbishop Vigano, the former Apostolic Nuncio to the United States, generating significant discord within the power structure of the global ecclesiastical leadership.
I wanted to share my reflections about the abuse crisis facing the Church, not to pontificate but in the hope that it can facilitate and encourage more conversation as this issue continues to be the “elephant in the room” in all of my interactions as a parishioner and Trustee of St. Catharine-St. Margaret Parish in Spring Lake, NJ and in my other roles as a Trustee for Catholic Charities and as a member of Bishop David O’Connell’s Diocesan Planning Implementation Commission where we are looking for more effective ways to share resources, promote greater collaboration, and share best practices across the 99 parishes that currently comprise the Diocese of Trenton, NJ. Promoting more dialogue and the sharing of insights with one another can be a helpful pathway to the healing and inner peace many of us are seeking as the Church confronts this latest challenge. So, with that in mind, here is one layman’s reflection on how we may be able to get through this awful nightmare and find that grace and wisdom that God has always provided us.
EVERY ABUSE VICTIM IS A BELOVED CHILD OF GOD
The recent news regarding the Church sex abuse crisis reminds me of an opening scene in a scary movie where we cover up our eyes with our hands out of fear for what other frightening scenes might lie ahead if we continue watching the rest of the movie. Since the release of the PA Attorney General’s report last August, we now have a total of 20 states actively investigating abuse claims within their respective Catholic dioceses, including New York, New Jersey, Illinois, Texas, and California to name just a few. Unfortunately, this means that the number of abuse claims will continue to grow rapidly in the months ahead, making for a most challenging external environment for all Catholics. As parishioners and believers in our faith, we will need to be vigilant, nimble, and ready to absorb the ugly truth that will continue to be revealed with our eyes wide open to the difficult days that lie ahead. Many of you will remember a famous scene from that blockbuster movie A Few Good Men where Tom Cruise pleas with Jack Nicholson in a dramatic courtroom confrontation by saying “I want the truth” to which Nicholson replies “You can’t handle the truth”. I believe that we can handle the truth and it is incumbent on our Church leadership to be more transparent with both its faithful flock of followers as well as with the legal authorities who are doing the investigations of abuse and attendant cover-up. No matter how staggering the final tally of abuse victims might be, we must always keep in mind that that every abuse victim is one victim too many and that each victim is a precious, beloved child of God who needs our constant prayers, our consolation, and our support. Every victim of sexual abuse has experienced the spiritual and emotional equivalent of a wolf bite, not some bee sting that ultimately goes away. Their lives have been sent in a much different direction than we can possibly imagine, changed forever by the horror inflicted on them by these crimes and so we need to embrace them and listen intently to their unique human stories and do whatever we can to help them heal.
GOD’S ABUNDANT GRACE AND THE GIFT OF WISDOM
As the Church and its flock move forward in the days ahead, it might be helpful to keep in mind that our Church has found itself in horrendous nightmares before. Dark moments like the Church owning and selling slaves; the Crusades; periods where the Church was on the wrong side of a human rights issue; and, of course most notably, the earlier and painful revelations of priest sex abuse and cover-up in Boston during 2002-2003. And yet, as painful as those historical nightmares clearly were, the nightmare itself was never the last word as God has always lifted His people up through the gift of wisdom to help them find the pathway to a better future. Wisdom is that special gift that God has always made available to each of us — we just have to ask Him. That ability to know what God wants, to want what God wants, and to do what God wants that can help make the world a better place. Wisdom is that gift that can help us make an inspired and wise choice whether we are in crisis mode or in a much calmer setting. It has always rescued us through all our previous nightmares and wisdom will once again rescue us in this current crisis.
As we seek God’s gift of wisdom during this crisis, let’s give ourselves and others permission to share how they really feel about what has happened. And, everyone is entitled to react in whatever way they see fit. Many of us know family, friends, and parishioners who are deeply troubled and angered by the events of the past several months and have expressed their dissatisfaction by understandably questioning their commitment to the faith. Some have reacted by withdrawing their financial support to their parish and to other nonprofit organizations like Catholic Charities that may have some specific affiliation with the Church. Other parishioners may decide to react in a more pensive way, by seeking the solace offered through contemplative prayer, investing more time in reading Scripture, engaging in Holy Adoration, attending daily Mass on a more frequent basis, praying the rosary, or by more fully embracing sacramental life especially by receiving the Holy Eucharist. But whatever someone’s reaction might be to the current crisis, remember that everyone matters and needs to be heard, and no one’s voices are more important than the voices of the abuse victims. As we reflect on both our own reactions and those of others, let’s consider the wisdom in these reactions because it is only through that special gift of God’s wisdom that we can help both ourselves and others we love to heal.
TAKING STOCK OF WHERE YOU ARE ON YOUR FAITH JOURNEY
Throughout life there are many moments where we pause and take stock of whatever specific situation we may find ourselves in. Maybe it’s a relationship that just isn’t working out the way we had hoped; or, it’s living in a physical environment that doesn’t suit our needs the way it had in the past; perhaps, it is a job where for a variety of reasons the decision is made that it’s time to move on to another opportunity. Given all the issues currently confronting the Church and the likelihood that things will remain quite difficult for a long time to come, it is only natural that we ask ourselves why would we stay a Catholic, or more generally, why do we believe in this Christian faith thing to begin with?
I have reflected on this question myself during these past few months and believe that for most of us we are not Catholic or Christian because of men in collars and robes who always do the right thing because if we are totally honest, they don’t always do the right thing and neither do we. Like many of you, I have a great fondness for many terrific priests who have made a real difference in my own life and in the lives of so many people. Yet, I also know that priests and bishops are sinners just like you and me. For me, the Christian and Catholic way of being was and continues to be the right fit, just like an old comfortable pair of slippers or loafers. I like our faith’s underlying mission of how to reach out and help others in need; of how to love one another as much as we love the God we trust and believe in; and how each of us in our own right can be priests, prophets, and kings to help make our world a better, more loving community.
In taking stock of where we are on our own unique spiritual journey, ask yourself what is it about the parish community you may belong to that keeps you engaged? Why is it that most of us tend to go to the same Mass every weekend (for me it’s usually the 9AM Mass on Sundays at St. Catharine-St. Margaret Parish)? Why do some of us choose a specific Mass by following our favorite homilist (for me its Fr. Hank, Monsignor C, and Fr. Charles)? Why do many of us choose a Mass that we know will include the choir and the musical style that brings us such inner peace and which becomes an integral part of our spiritual livelihood? Why do so many of us engage in specific ministries that align with the mission of our parish and the values that define who we are? So, after taking stock of where you are on your own spiritual journey, ask yourself what you would do if you had to choose all over again? Would you be a Christian? A Catholic? A parishioner at your current parish? For me, the answer is simple — I would still choose this brand of faith all over again that my parents raised me in, sadder for sure because of having to live through some of our darkest days, but also a tad wiser for seeing the glory and gift of God’s abundant wisdom and the many blessings that he provides. So, as Peter asked the Lord all those years ago “Master, to whom shall we go?” Well, for me, I’m staying! How about you? What’s your choice? No matter what you may decide to do with whatever brand of faith you believe in, one thing I know for sure is that for all people — Christian and non-Christian alike — we need each other more than ever and we are not alone in this earthly journey we must take.
Blessings to my family, friends, and colleagues and my best wishes in your own spiritual journey,
Dr. K
